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24744 No. 24744
Hey guys, this is just a quick one that I wrote, and all I need is any corrections that you may have, spelling, grammar, plot holes, etc :)
Also, any feedback would be nice :)
>> No. 24746
Daring Do and the Dirty Dinosaur
Deep in the Equestrian Rain Forest, Daring Do was on the prowl for an ancient artifact that has thought to have been lost for centuries. She was crawling through the bushes, one hoof at a time, until suddenly… there it was. The temple she’s been searching for, for over two years. The legend said that inside was a diamond encrusted unicorn horn that belonged to Princess Celestia’s great ancestors and that whoever rubbed it hard enough would have their greatest desires come true. In this case, hers.
She crawled steadily through the bush, thinking of all the things that she could get with that horn, perhaps a strong stallion mate? Or infinite riches? Or perhaps something to satisfy her kinky fetishes? She finally got a clearing that stood between her and the temple. It seemed clear at first, but as soon as she decided to run, she saw a huge lizard like beast, that walked on its hind legs, with razor sharp teeth and a long tail. “That must be one of those dinosaurs that I read about… the… the raptor!” She spread herself out to get as close to the ground as possible so it didn’t see her but by accident, snapped a twig. Suddenly it looked in her direction. Her heart stopped and she lay as still as possible only to feel something sliding up her hind leg and onto her flank. It was a snake… She tried not to move in hopes that it would go away, but unfortunately it slid town to her crotch. She could feel its tongue on the lips of her pussy. It felt so good, but if she wanted to get away, she’d need to get it off. She decided to try and reach around and grab it, then try and pull it out, so she slid her hoof down her body to grab it. She got close to it, then touched its tail, only to find that it quickly darted inside her. She gasped as it wriggled around inside her. She couldn’t help but smile. It felt so good. The raptor hadn’t noticed her so far, even with the snake inside her, so she thought that she might as well make the best of the bad situation. She decided to slowly rub her clitoris which filled her with so much pleasure. She started breathing heavily. She was so wet, and the snake was so smooth… it was the best feeling that she’d ever experienced. It was only about ten minutes before she finally started to climax, the snake was hitting her G-Spot continuously until it got to the point where she couldn’t hold it in any longer. Suddenly, it retracted. She felt disappointed, until it darted back inside her and pounded her G-Spot one final time. She squealed with pleasure and for the first time in her life, she squirted. However, she couldn’t sit there and enjoy it for much longer, as the raptor had heard her. She had to get up on all fours and run to the temple as fast as she could.
She could hear the raptors feet pounding on the ground behind her. Luckily, the temple was getting close now, “Just a little further!” She thought to herself, “Come on!” She finally made it and ran inside, but tripped on a vine stretched out along the floor. She slid forward, stopped then flipped over onto her back to see where the raptor was. She looked between her spread legs only to see the raptor was running straight at her. She tried to get away, but it was no use. The raptor caught up with her. It stood, looming over her, drooling. She laid still, legs spread, panting and whimpering. The raptor got closer and grabbed her by her front legs, spreading her out. She tried to cross her hind legs, but it was no use. The raptor went down to her groin and slid his long tongue between her crossed legs and into her pussy. She cringed. It felt so good, but she didn’t want it to happen. She then kicked out and bucked the raptor in the face. She flipped over and started to run, but it was no use. The raptor grabbed her hind legs and pulled her back to him. She was helpless now, laid on her front. She tried to keep her legs together, but the raptor was too strong and pried them open.
Daring Do’s pussy was still wet from earlier. She was crying now. The raptor licked its lipless mouth and stuck his snout into her ass, and slid his tongue up her clit, between her lips, and into her vagina. Daring Do could feel it deep inside her, so warm and smooth. She closed her eyes and whimpered quietly as the raptor licked her for several minutes. Suddenly, it crossed her legs over, flipping her onto her back. She realised it was now going to penetrate her with its long, reptilian dick. She crossed her legs again and begged for it not to rape her. She was still a virgin in the sense that she’s never had another creature’s penis inside her. “Please don’t! I’ll do anything!” The raptor stopped for a second and replied slyly… “Like what?” She flipped herself over, and used her front hooves to spread her ass open. “Stick it in me...” The raptor laughed, “Really?” He leans in and whispers in her ear, “How do you know I won’t tear you apart with this fourteen inch slithering beast?” She looks around at him and gives the raptor a tearful grin. “Why do you think they call me Daring Do?” The raptor laughed and started pushing the head of his dick against the wall of her ass. She tried not to let it in, but it was no use. The raptor forced itself in. It could get about eight inches deep before it started to hurt. “Please, be a bit more gentle!” she cried. The raptor pulled out slightly, leaving about three inches in, before forcing himself back in but even deeper. She screamed and started panting heavily. She pushed herself up on her front legs to stop her body from rubbing against the rough stone under her. The raptor started thrusting even faster. It then pulled out, and flipped her over. Daring Do thought that it was going to cum inside her pussy. Instead, it pushed her legs together, and then started to fuck between her thighs. She could see its dick sliding up her stomach faster and faster. She knew what was coming next. The raptor started grunting, then slowed down and ejaculated on her chest. She was panting at the time so semen occasionally flew into her mouth. She got up onto all fours again and spat it out. The raptor was on its back… passed out from the pleasure.
>> No. 24747
She was crying at this point and slowly stumbled further into the temple. Her legs were sore and her ass was numb, but she was surprised that the beast hadn’t torn her apart. To her surprise, there weren’t many traps, just the odd tripwire here and there. Eventually, she arrived at the pedestal holding the diamond encrusted horn. On the base there was some writing in ancient Equestrian. She couldn’t understand it fully, but it said something along the lines that it can only be used by someone pure and must be inserted into pleasure. She had no idea what it meant, but then it hit her. “I came all this way just for a diamond encrusted dildo?” She sat their confused, until something fell behind her. She got up and span around. The pedestal the horn was on had fallen. The temple then started to shake. She immediately ran for the exit, but a boulder fell in the way, blocking the only way to get out of the temple. All the holes in the ceiling that provided light were then blocked by something. The room became pitch black. Something heavy shifted and the sound of sand came rushing out of the walls. Daring Do realised that the room was filling up slowly. She panicked, she was going to die! Something then caught her eye. The horn was glowing a bright blue. At that point, she realised what she was meant to do. She slid the horn between her legs. The diamonds were smooth and felt so good. She realised that she had to cum quickly if she was to survive, so she fucked herself with it hard and fast. She then began to climax, and as she did, everything went white, and her body burned with magic.
Daring Do later woke up in her bed, covered in bandages, still with the horn inside her. She pulled it out, looked at it, then smiled. She realised her greatest desire at the time was to get home, away from all of the trouble. After a few seconds thought, she had another thought, “I wonder how much money this thing can give me!” And with a smile, she shoved it back inside her.

THE END
>> No. 24748
oh god you're making one too

it would probably be a good idea if we showed all of ours

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/28007574/TXT/clopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclopclop.txt
>> No. 24750
>>24744
Well assuming you're doing this for pokehidden, your setting and the treasure should probably be changed. As I've said in the comments section of his site:

"I talked to pokehidden on Skype. This is what he's looking for. The story:

- Is about Daring Do.
- Is in fluent English with good grammar.
- Is a rape fic.
- Is about 800-1200 words long, approximately 1 chapter.
- Is a story from beginning to end.
- Will not be animated, but will be readable in the game.

It would be nice if people posted their submissions on: http://pastebin.com/ and linked the RAW link as a comment. (Or alternatively upload a TXT to Dropbox.)"

"Oh, I forgot to add. He doesn't want any of the actual ponies living in Equestria to be in the story. Characters must be either made up or already exist in the Daring Do book in "Read It and Weep".... now to find out how to spell 'Aouizotle' or whatever the hell. x.x;"

(It's actually Ahuizotl)
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